Showing posts with label Teen Trouble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teen Trouble. Show all posts

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens Today

Are you at your wit’s end?

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
Is your teen verbally abusive?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Does he/she steal?
Is your teen sexually active?
Teen pregnancy?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Mood Swings? Anxiety?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Juvenile Delinquent?
Conduct Disorder?
Bipolar?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?

Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?


Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.



Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:
· Helping Teens - not Harming them
· Building them up - not Breaking them down
· Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
· Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
· Protect Children - not Punish them

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"Wit's End!" Featured on Miami Daybreak


I was flattered to be on Miami DayBreak talking about my new book "Wit's End!"
It was a great time and I appreciate the interest they have in promoting parent awareness with today's struggling teens.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Getting Your Teen To Talk

By ParentingMyTeen.com

Visit - http://www.parentingmyteen.com/




Depending upon your relationship, getting your teen to talk to you could be an agonizing or enjoyable exchange. If your teen is not communicative or willing to discuss issues, then it is up to you to find ways to get your teen to open up. How? Here are some suggestions.Oftentimes, teens are afraid to discuss a problem head on. Therefore, living in a home that is filled with love and understanding is crucial. While one teen may find it easier to talk to Mom and another feels more comfortable talking with Dad, the conditions in the home are critical to the teen being able to talk about anything at anytime. This process begins at birth. Having conversations with each other is one way to instill a sense of openness in the home. Moms and dads who constantly talk to each other and their children, whether at the dinner table or during bedtime, allow the child to feel good about discussing any topic with one or both parents. Consequently, your child will grow up in an atmosphere where freedom of expression is not only expected but encouraged.

Teenagers come with their own set of problems and issues. It’s the natural course of events for teens. This does not mean, however, they must sit in their rooms contemplating situations which they are neither ready for, nor can handle. Keeping the lines of communication open may be difficult at times, especially if all you get out of your teenager is a grunt of acknowledgement. Don’t give up, no matter how difficult the situation becomes. Whether your teen will admit it or not, having you there allows them to feel safe and secure, even though they don’t show it.

You can be assured, however, when the time is right and when the teen feels there are no other options available, he or she will open up. This is the point at which you should listen carefully to what is being offered. While your teen may not be asking your advice, the ability to be able to say what is on his or her mind may be enough to get out of the funk he or she is in.

However, if you feel your teen has become so distant that nothing seems to work, it may be time to seek help. In the meantime, without being invasive, keep an eye on your teen, ensure he or she is eating and sleeping, and communicating with friends. Every teen is different in how they approach life’s ups and downs. Think back to when you were a teen. Were you as open with your parents as you’d like your teen to be? If not, perhaps the inability to talk openly amongst family members began then.

As parents, we have a lot to deal with in our own lives. Sometimes even we shut down due to the pressure. Getting your teen to talk to you may be just as hard as getting your spouse to talk to you. It is in talking that we let out our innermost thoughts and feelings. Perhaps by learning how to talk to each other, you will instill confidence in your teen to follow your lead.


www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) How To Get My Teen to Talk




As the parent of a teen, you may long for the days when you could hold your child on your lap and they were eager to talk, Those days may be long gone, but you can still find ways to get your teen to talk and really start to connect with your teen.


To many parents, their teen is a closed book and getting a teen to talk can be like trying to make the earth stop rotating. At times it seems impossible to get them to open up and talk about their lives. But talking to your teen and knowing about their lives is one of the best ways to protect them from danger. Spying and snooping around isn’t the best way to get that information either, it will only upset matters if your teen finds out.

Here are a few tips on how to get a teen to talk:

Start young. Keeping a relationship going with your child is easier than starting one when you haven’t had one before. You may find them trying to pull away once they hit a certain age; just keep at it.

Find common ground. To get your teen to talk, first search for things that you and your teen are both interested in. It’s easier to talk about something that you both have in common. That way, you can ask your child about a band’s new album rather than the same old “how was school?”

Be open to what they say. When you get your teen talking, don’t be surprised if they say some things you don’t like. Just be open to what they’re telling you instead of being judgmental. You can tell them you don’t approve of something without attacking them. If they feel comfortable talking about serious things, they’ll be more likely to come to you if they have a problem.

Spend more together. A recent study showed that many teens rate not having enough time with their parents as one of their top concerns. Many teens feel they can’t talk to their parents because they’re always at work or busy doing something else. We often forget to take time out from our hectic lives to pay enough attention to our kids. Some suggestions for spending extra time with your teen are:

Set up a specific time every week to spend time with your teen
Have dinner at the table with the whole family as often as possible
Work out or engage in a sport with your kids
Drive your teen to school instead of sending them on the bus
While your teen may be reluctant to talk to you at first, keep trying. Likely, you’ll eventually break them down and they’ll look forward to talking with you and spending time together.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Parenting Kids Can Be Challenging



Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Tough Love and Teens


As a parent advocate, I have heard many parents that turn to tough love as one of their last resorts to help their struggling teen.

Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, tough love or "not enabling" the child to ruin or run the family unit.

Enduring life with a teen that is running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and sometimes psychical and verbal abuse. Tough love is exactly that: Tough. Loving our children is unconditional, but we don’t have to like what they are doing or how they are destroying their lives.

There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough!

This is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a Tough Love support groups, along with professional intervention.

This does not reflect you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family, it is the child that is making the bad choices and the family is suffering from it.

Many times tough love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last minute to intervene.

If you see that tough love is not working at home, it may be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home). Quality Residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly and rationally.

Tough love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside of the home for your child. While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur.

Tough love is a very painful and stressful avenue, however in many families, very necessary and very rewarding. Tough love if used correctly can be helpful. However if you are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground will be for nothing.

Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in deeper and more serious problems. Please confer with professionals or outside help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling your child you will do.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not alone.

By Sue Scheff

Founder of Parents' Universal Resource Experts

Author of Wit's End!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Wit's End!


Buy today and ships within 24-48 hours! Click here to buy now.


Are you struggling with your teen or pre-teen? Do you feel you are losing control of your teenager? You are not alone - read "Wit's End!" From the same publisher that brought you Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, they now introduce "Wit's End" with the same hope and inspiration.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teenage Drugs and Drinking


Teen Drug Use and Teen Drinking also known as Substance Abuse amongst teens and even children.

With today's society, kids have access to many different substances that can be addictive and damaging. If you suspect your child is using drugs or drinking alcohol, please seek help for them as soon as possible. Drug testing is helpful, but not always accurate. Teen Drug use and Teen Drinking may escalate to addiction.

We get calls constantly, that a child is only smoking pot. Unfortunately in most cases, marijuana can lead to more severe drugs, and marijuana is considered an illegal drug. Smoking marijuana is damaging to the child's body, brain and behavior. Even though marijuana is not considered a narcotic, most teens are very hooked on it. Many teens that are on prescribed medications such as Ritalin, Adderall, Strattera, Concerta, Zoloft, Prozac etc. are more at risk when mixing these medications with street drugs. It is critical you speak with your child about this and learn all the side effects. Educating your child on the potential harm may help them to understand the dangers involved in mixing prescription drugs with street drugs. Awareness is the first step to understanding.

Alcohol is not any different with today's teens. Like adults, some teens use the substances to escape their problems; however they don't realize that it is not an escape but rather a deep dark hole. Some teens use substances to "fit in" with the rest of their peers – teen peer pressure. This is when a child really needs to know that they don't need to "fit in" if it means hurting themselves. Using drug and alcohol is harming them. Especially if a teen is taking prescribed medication (refer to the above paragraph) teen drinking can be harmful. The combination can bring out the worse in a person. Communicating with your teen, as difficult as it can be, is one of the best tools we have. Even if you think they are not listening, we hope eventually they will hear you.

If your teen is experimenting with this, please step in and get proper help through local resources. If it has extended into an addiction, it is probably time for a Residential Placement. If you feel your child is only experimenting, it is wise to start precautions early. An informed parent is an educated parent. This can be your life jacket when and if you need the proper intervention. Always be prepared, it can save you from rash decisions later.

A teen that is just starting to experiment with substance use or starting to become difficult; a solid short term self growth program may be very beneficial for them. However keep in mind, if this behavior has been escalating over a length of time, the short term program may only serve as a temporary band-aid.

Drugs and Alcoholic usage is definitely a sign that your child needs help. Teen Drug Addiction and Teen Drinking is a serious problem in today’s society; if you suspect your child is using substances, especially if they are on prescribed medications, start seeking local help. If the local resources become exhausted, and you are still experiencing difficulties, it may be time for the next step; Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sue Scheff: What is Inhalant Abuse?

After receiving a heartwarming email from a parent that lost her precious son at a very young age to inhalant abuse (sniffing/huffing air freshener), as a parent advocate, I believe I have to continue to bring this awareness to all parents of teens and pre-teens. Many talk to their kids about the dangers of drug use, but please include inhalant use - you could save a life. - Sue Scheff

Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of common products found in homes and communities with the purpose of "getting high." Inhalants are easily accessible, legal, everyday products. When used as intended, these products have a useful purpose in our lives and enhance the quality of life, but when intentionally misused, they can be deadly. Inhalant Abuse is a lesser recognized form of substance abuse, but it is no less dangerous. Inhalants are addictive and are considered to be "gateway" drugs because children often progress from inhalants to illegal drug and alcohol abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that one in five American teens have used Inhalants to get high.

Inhalation is referred to as huffing, sniffing, dusting or bagging and generally occurs through the nose or mouth. Huffing is when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and the substance is inhaled. Sniffing can be done directly from containers, plastic bags, clothing or rags saturated with a substance or from the product directly. With Bagging, substances are sprayed or deposited into a plastic or paper bag and the vapors are inhaled. This method can result in suffocation because a bag is placed over the individual's head, cutting off the supply of oxygen.

Other methods used include placing inhalants on sleeves, collars, or other items of clothing that are sniffed over a period of time. Fumes are discharged into soda cans and inhaled from the can or balloons are filled with nitrous oxide and the vapors are inhaled. Heating volatile substances and inhaling the vapors emitted is another form of inhalation. All of these methods are potentially harmful or deadly. Experts estimate that there are several hundred deaths each year from Inhalant Abuse, although under-reporting is still a problem.

What Products Can be Abused?

There are more than a 1,400 products which are potentially dangerous when inhaled, such as typewriter correction fluid, air conditioning coolant, gasoline, propane, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane, cooking spray, paint, and glue. Most are common products that can be found in the home, garage, office, school or as close as the local convenience store. The best advice for consumers is to read the labels before using a product to ensure the proper method is observed. It is also recommended that parents discuss the product labels with their children at age-appropriate times. The following list represents categories of products that are commonly abused.

www.inhalant.org

www.helpyourteens.com

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts Founder - Sue Scheff - First Book, Wit's End! is Almost Here!

Sue Scheff is a parent advocate who founded Parents’ Universal Resources Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.) in 2001. She has been featured on 20/20, The Rachel Ray Show, ABC News, Canadian CBC Sunday News Magazine, CNN Headline News, Fox News, BBC Talk Radio, and NPR, discussing topics of Internet defamation as well as her work helping troubled teens and their families through her organization. To learn more about P.U.R.E. or visit www.helpyourteens.com and to contact the author, visit www.suescheff.com.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse Among Teens


Inhalant Abuse is not discussed enough - We as parents, all know about talking to our kids about drugs and sex, but remember - huffing is a serious issue among teens today. Learn more about it at http://www.inhalant.org/.


Monitoring your child will make your child much less likely to use Inhalants or other drugs.

Know where your child is at all times, especially after school.
Know your child's friends.


If you find your child unconscious, or you suspect your child is under the influence of an Inhalant, call 911 immediately.


If you suspect your child might be abusing Inhalants, call the Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222; or call the 1-800 number on the label of the product.


According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, if you talk to your kids about the risks of drugs, they are 36% less likely to abuse an Inhalant. Parents can make a tremendous impact on their kids choices by talking to them.


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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sue Scheff - Books for Teenagers


Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on TOUGH STUFF
This latest offering in the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul series explores a host of challenges faced by today's teens.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Teen Cults


Teen cults claim many victims each year

Every year thousands of teens across the country become ensnared in the dangerous and misunderstood world of cults. These hazardous entities prey on the uncertainty and alienation that many teens feel and use those feelings to attract unsuspecting teens into their cult traps. As a figurehead in the world of parent teen relations, Sue Scheff™ knows the danger of cults and teenagers’ susceptibility to their temptations. Sue Scheff™ believes that like many other teen\ ailments, the best defense against the world of cults is through education.

No teen actually joins a cult, they join a religious movement or a political organization that reaches out to the feelings of angst or isolation that many troubled teen’s experience. Over time, this group gradually reveals its true cultish nature, and before teens know it, they are trapped in a web they can’t untangle.

With the strong rise in teen internet usage, cults have many ways to contact children and brainwash them. Sue Scheff™ knows the dark side of the internet from her experience with teenage internet addiction, and she understands it is also an avenue for cults to infiltrate teenage brains.

Cults have long been represented in the mass media. The supporters of Reverend Jim Jones People’s Temple may be some of the most famous cult members, making global headlines when they died in the hundreds after drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Almost 300 of the dead Jones supporters were teens and young children. Heavens Gate is another well known cult, which believed ritual suicide would ensure their journey behind the Hale-Bopp comet with Jesus. Heavens Gate lived in a strict communal environment, funding their cult endeavors through web site development. Some male members of the cult even castrated themselves before all 36 committed suicide, wearing matching sweat suits and Nike tennis shoes.

It is clear that despite the ridiculous and bizarre nature of many cults, parents can’t ignore the power and resourcefulness of these groups. Cult ideas may seem to loony to take seriously, but they can have real power when used against troubled teenagers, the exact type of teens that Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates have been working to keep safe.

Cult influence should not be taken lightly, especially when living with a troubled teen. Parents may not think of cults as a problem because they don’t hear about them a lot, but that’s the key to cult success. The livelihood of teen cults relies on staying out of the public eye and in the shadows. The Heaven’s Gate and People’s Temple cults didn’t truly gain public notice until after their suicides, and by then it was too late to save their followers.

The danger of teen cults is real, but parents can help ensure their teenagers’ safety by staying informed and communicating with their children. Sue Scheff™ presents a site with important information about different types of cults that target teens, warning signs of cult attendance, and ways to help prevent your teen from becoming involved in a cult. Knowledge and communication is always the first line of defense when helping a troubled teen.


For more information on Teen Cults.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teen Violence, Teen Rage, Teen Anger - Are you in crisis with your teen?


"I don't care what you say I am doing what I want to do! I hate you and you just don't want me to have fun!" "All my friends are allowed to stay out late; you are mean and want to ruin my life!" "You have no idea how I feel and you are only making it worse!" When a difficult teen is out of control, they only can hear themselves and what they want. It is usually their way or no way! There are so many factors that can contribute to these feelings. The feelings are very real and should be addressed as soon as you see that your child is starting to run the household.



Teen Anger may lead to Teen Rage and Teen Violence which can soon destroy a family.Again, local therapist* can help your family diagnosis what is causing the negative behavior patterns. Conduct Disorder is one of the many causes to harmful behavior. Many times you will find a need for a positive and safe program to help the teen realize where these hurtful outbursts are stemming from.



Parents tell us constantly, they are looking for a "Boot Camp" to achieve their mission to make their child "pay" for the pain they are putting the family through. In some cases this can create a Violent Teen.We feel that when you place a negative child into a negative atmosphere, most children only gain resentment and more anger. There are some cases that it has been effective; however we do not refer to any Boot Camps. We believe in a Positive Peer Culture for teen help to build your child back up from the helplessness they feel.




Friday, March 14, 2008

Sue Scheff: Troubled Teens, Struggling Teens, At Risk Teens


Do any of these labels sound familiar?


•Truancy (Excessive Absences)

•Multiple Suspension/Detentions

•Expulsion

•Academic Failure/Grades Dropping - Underachiever
•Social Withdrawal – Isolating themselves

•Poor Decision Making

•Peer Relationship Problems; Fights; Arguments

•Choosing the Wrong Peer Group

•Defiant/Anger/Violent/Rage/Rebellious – Conduct Disorder•Confrontational Behavior/Acting Out

•Refusal to accept Accountability for their Actions •Depression/Bipolar/Oppositional Defiance Disorder

•Involvement in Cult Activities – Gang ActivityDoes any of the above sound familiar?


If so it may be time to start searching for healthy and safe alternative schools or programs. Whether they are local or out of the area, after conferring with a school guidance counselor or therapist, you may determine that a different academic setting may benefit your child. Absences and Suspension Rates (or Incident reports) are useful indicators of student academic or behavioral problems. Most truancy and incident rates increase with grade levels.


Another words, this will most likely escalate rather than go away if not addressed. We always recommend parents to seek local adolescent therapy* prior to residential placement. Incidents rates are on the rise and school expulsion have increased, nearly doubled in the High Schools within the past three years.


The zero tolerance rates may be attributed to this rise in numbers, however it is a clear indication that some teens are truly struggling and need outside help. This is has to do with many factors:

• Population Increase, which leads to overcrowding in the schools

• Lack of ACCEPTANCE of our Cultural Diversity

• Family Conflicts – Marital Issues (Divorce, Separation, etc.)

• Stress and Anger Management Problems

• Lack of Communication and the skills to communicate with Today's Teens.

• Ineffective or Inconsistence Parenting/Discipline Strategies• Substance Abuse (Drugs and/or Alcohol)• Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities – ADD/ADHD/LD

• Zero Tolerance Level at Schools• LACK OF AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY RESOURCES & SERVICES




Monday, March 10, 2008

Sue Scheff: Talking with your children about sex and relationships





Sex. It's on TV, the Internet, in magazines, movies and music videos. But it's still one of those topics that is hard for parents and their children to talk about. And that's a problem, because what kids don't know – and what they think they know – can hurt them.


Learn how to talk with your kids about sex – in a way that they'll listen. Order the Sex & the Silent Parent. You'll learn specific advice about where, when, what and how to talk with your kids about sex.


You may be surprised by what your kids believe about sex. A recent health survey reported that most kids don't know you can get an STD from oral sex. A majority believes you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex. And two-thirds of teens that do have sex later say they regret it. It's up to you to give your children the facts and help them be safe and healthy.
Sex & the Silent Parent provides information to help parents learn when the timing is right to have these conversations and how to answer the questions kids ask. You'll learn how important it is to discuss the dangers and risks, as well as explain what it means to develop trusting relationships. Kids really do want to talk… and listen… and learn from an adult they trust.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Secret Life of Kids: What Your Kids Are Doing Shouldn’t Be a Mystery


Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”



Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!
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